Nature's Mother Forum Index Nature's Mother
A place to explore natural pregnancy, birth & beyond
 FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   MemberlistMemberlist   UsergroupsUsergroups   Join! (free) Join! (free)
 ProfileProfile   Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Log inLog in 

Advice needed!!!

Post new topic   Reply to topic    Nature's Mother Forum Index -> Conception
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
Please Register and Login to this forum to stop seeing this advertising.

Posted:     Post subject:

Back to top

Joined: 08 Dec 2011
Posts: 1

PostPosted: Thu Dec 08, 2011 11:30 pm    Post subject: Advice needed!!!  Reply with quote

Dear mothers,

I知 seeking for an advice on overcoming fears of having/losing children. I need good reasons to help myself to work on this issue to find courage finally having children. I know that human can not plan every second of his life, 祖ause God will change any plan anyway, but I just want to arrange some things right in my life, in order not to blame myself later for an unthoughtfull, irresponsible deeds. I really want to have children, I知 not afraid of birth/complications (I overcame it already). Sometimes I dream of having a child and experience that unbelievable maternal, universal love to a child, but then I wake up and start to cry, from being unable to have children because of all my 5 fears and of suffering from certain situation caused by having children. I feel mostly sad, frustrated and depressed. Here are my fears, the numbers 3 to 5 are the WORST:

Fear of having not enough power physically/mentally to care for a child. I've always been quite weak physically and if I sleep an hour less then usual, I feel horrible the whole day.

Fear to loose peace of mind (not being able to retreat and take time for myself when I need it). I知 an extremely sensitive person who really needs a lot of personal space/rest from others.

Fear of loosing the child/children through divorce. Every now and then you can watch in the news all the bloody custody battles between two selebs, who used to love each other forever the other day. Here I must admit I知 very 堵reedy I want my children only for myself!  I want to teach them what I think is right and don稚 want any new spouse of my ex or his parents to suggest some crap to my child or simply things that don稚 match my philosophy/religion.

Fear to be connected for the rest of my life to my ex/the father of my child due to custody rights. I知 in my thirties in my 3rd marriage which is breaking in pieces, so there's an evidence that I can't stay with anyone "forever". God knows how we all don稚 want to see our exes any more, willing to axe them forever from our lives. If there are people that makes us sick, these are our exes.  Just to imagine that I have to deal with any of them on a daily basis drives me wakadoodle cerrazzy.

Fear of not being able to move to other country for living (fear of loosing freedom), for any ex wouldn稚 give permission to take the children so far away from him, even with regular visitation rights.

All that I can summ to a general fear of loosing myself, my freedom, fear of suffering through all above consequences. If I would adopt a child as a single mother without husband, there would be a fear of not being able to finance a child/children, to care for them properly without partner, for I don稚 have anyone to help. Also a fear that there is no one to care for my children if I will die.

Thanks for your attention to my issue!
Seeking Answers
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message

Joined: 29 Dec 2011
Posts: 5

PostPosted: Thu Dec 29, 2011 4:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think lots of women have experienced your fears; many of these fears are universal. I, too, fear what would happen to my child if I died or were injured. I worry if I'd be a good mom. I'm concerned that I would have enough personal space and time. If you're not sure that you can work through these fears on your own, have you considered going on a site like LocateADoc to find a therapist to talk through your fears?

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Nature's Mother Forum Index -> Conception All times are GMT
Page 1 of 1

Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum

Card File  Gallery  Forum Archive
Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group
Create your own free forum | Buy a domain to use with your forum
Untitled Document Click here to return to Nature's Mother website